“Every disability conceals a vocation, if only we can find it, which will ‘turn the necessity to glorious gain.”
CS Lewis, The Letters of CS Lewis
I’ve been struggling with this concept lately, because it seems like the equations should be really simple:
Health = Good
Sickness = Bad
Work = Good
Sloth = Bad
So when my chronic illness causes me to work less, or feel sick, it seems pretty obvious it’s a bad thing. So how could this disability lead me to something good, let alone a spiritual vocation?
The minute I write the question, I start to see the answer. This illness breaks me regularly, pulling me out of my desire to achieve, earn, and work and forcing me to sit with myself in rest.
There’s simply no escaping what God wants to teach you, and no amount of hard work and noise can drown out the clear message I need to hear: we’re more than what we accomplish, we’re filled with worth even when we don’t work, and no amount of running can carry you away from the reality that God is all you need.
Not a new doctor.
Not having a child.
None of these things that I think I need will ever solve my problem or give me stability because my problems and the ultimate source of stability is not of this world. It’s God. And he’s already here.